2. Sexual Trauma Is Real

May 28, 2019

4 min read

Updated: May 4, 2024

These flowers look similar, though none is exactly the same.

Why Write About Sexual Trauma?

This post is aimed at spreading awareness about how many of us are survivors. My goal is to bring attention to the sheer volume of ways that sexual trauma can take place, while being fully aware of the sensitive nature of discussing what has negatively impacted the lives of so many people. I’m writing about some of the most horrible things a person could ever undergo. I remind everyone reading that regardless of the form of abuse that results in sexual harm, none of that was ever, is ever, or will ever be ok.

I won’t explicitly describe anything. From my personal perspective, doing so would feel disrespectful to any readers who have been through such events. I understand that not all survivors experience distress at reading about what they endured. I am also aware that some survivors do experience extreme distress when encountering any mention of a sustained injury. For many years, I became intensely distraught in response to anything that my brain deemed similar in any way to my traumas. As I will be writing about this, I attempt to do so in a manner that is respectful of all survivors, though I fully understand that for some, reading about these wounds is not accessible.

What Is Sexual Trauma?

**Trigger warning: In this section, I mention types of sexual trauma by name only. I do not write any explicit details**

I write the words “sexual trauma” to encompass a wide range of awful without writing the full extent of everything that can create that awfulness. For my blog, I’ve selected this term as a way to represent all forms of sexual wounds. In an attempt to describe that my intention with those words is to include every type of sexual injury, but also with awareness of the disturbing nature of reading about specifics, I will briefly attempt a broad description that names some of the versions without going into details. Sexual trauma can include sexual harassment, exploitation, abuse, molestation, incest, assault, rape, violence, abduction, and/or human trafficking.

Beyond particular terminology, sexual trauma can include any event related to sex and sexuality that disrespects, emotionally manipulates, coerces, threatens, intends to harm, physically harms, puts safety at risk, takes advantage of power dynamics, attempts to control, or physically controls. It can involve exposure to sexual acts or include physical interaction without consent, against a person's will, or without that person’s ability to consent related to maturity, awareness, or state of consciousness. Any version of sexual trauma can cause tremendous damage. It’s particularly important to recognize that all versions are wrong, regardless of any differences between them.

How Prevalent Is Sexual Trauma?

Sexual trauma is rampant. To my knowledge, there is no community that is unaffected by it, though there are communities that are either unaware of it, or in denial about it. There are also communities that either inadvertently or blatantly encourage it.

As a whole, the overarching culture of the society I live in has often promoted sexual trauma during my lifetime by propagating misleading social messages. These myths are used to blame victims, placing the responsibility for atrocities upon us, which is utterly wrong. These same myths encourage perpetrators to continue harming, and to tell themselves that their actions are actually ok, to be expected, or even, and most dangerously, appropriate, which couldn’t be farther from the truth. These teachings range from mildly misinformed to intentionally destructive. They collectively serve to downplay the reality of sexual trauma, to undermine real experiences, to dissuade people from recognizing the problem, and therefore, they encourage inaction against an issue where much action and change in mindset are both extremely needed. Misguided and wrong messages facilitate a distressing mentality about sexual actions that encourage sexual violence and discourage accountability.

Who Are Survivors?

Sexual trauma has impacted those in all walks of life. It injures people of any age, sex, gender identity, ethnicity, race, religion, socio-economic status, body size, physical ability, mental ability, sexual orientation, relationship status, culture, and country. It is entirely inaccurate to assume that such identifiers provide protections from the possibility of sexual harm, as there is no magical identity that acts as immunity. Likewise, there is no identity that disqualifies or invalidates anyone's injury.

What Do We All Deserve?

We all deserve many versions of safety, including physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, and energetic safety. If sexual trauma has influenced a person’s life, it has also threatened safety in some, if not all of these areas. We all deserve to live our entire lives free from any sexual harm. Each of us is entitled to sexual safety, and it is distressing that the privilege of consistently experiencing such safety is not ensured to us all. There are many of us who have endured horrible realities. We all deserve better. All of us.

#MeToo

#SupportSurvivors