26. The Healing Series, Part 2; The Healing Power Of Prayer

Nov 25, 2019

5 min read

Updated: Oct 18, 2023

**Please note: In this post, I do not write about specific traumas. I never write any explicit details.**

Personal Healing Supports

This post continues the series about personal healing aids in my life. Many of these topics are included in what I consider to be the self-directed support category because they are resources that I can seek on my own terms and in ways that help me. I credit a great deal of my ability to continue forward through recovery from PTSD with the incorporation of many of these within my life. The power of prayer during my healing journey cannot be understated. This is an avenue I've delved into quite extensively, perhaps farther than I might have otherwise, to help me combat trauma. I owe much of my retained sanity to this perpetually available communication. It's also a permanent part of my life, and though it was prior to trauma, and will be long after, it's been such an integral compass for me as I've walked through the night.

Faith

This is not an informercial for a particular faith tradition. I am not suggesting that a certain doctrine is appropriate for you. My experience with organized religion is that it can offer a level of potential support, though the specifics vary greatly, depending on the orientations of the beliefs, along with greater perceptions of teachings and traditions. My journey with faith has grown from roots within particular theology, and it has also grown from locations outside of those established organizations.

My connection to a higher power is such an innate part of my experience. It reminds me of who I am, what I am worth, and what I am to do with my life. When I feel destabilized, faith grounds me again. I connect back to my sense of origin, to my higher calling, and to my resonance with why I do what I do.

Prayers

There were times when scripted prayers were a part of my routine, and there are times I still turn to them, sometimes unconsciously during certain circumstances. I've also grown comfortable with going off script with my prayers, and these days, they tend to look like monologues that can't be replicated because the are always changing, depending on the day, the moment, and what's in my heart. My prayers express my wishes, my thanks, my questions, and my sorrow. Pretty much everything is fair game. I pray about all of it, but not necessarily in every moment. Basically, anything that happens in my life and the lives of others might make it into my prayers on any given day. Talking with spirit brings connection for me between myself and the greater power. It's like an epic conversation with the eternal, and no matter how many pauses occur, we pick up right where we left off. There's such an established familiarity that it's always comfortable for me to return, no matter what I bring with me.

I find that feeling heard matters tremendously to me, and that is what I've always experienced through my prayers. I can't explain exactly why I'm certain that I'm receiving the attention of the divine, but I compare it to knowing the difference between talking to someone who is actively listening to me as compared to someone who is barely paying attention. Even when I don't receive the types of answers I might want, I don't mistake that for a lack of being listened to. Sometimes, I'm aware that both sides of the conversation are not getting the types of answers that please either of us. When I find myself frustrated that things are not how I think they ought to be, that the world contains so much suffering, or that we don't deserve the many forms of pain inflicted around the planet, I also notice that the God I'm speaking with feels this sorrow with me. Then, I realize that it's more likely that the divine has felt it for far longer than I have, and that I'm actually the one joining late to this conversation, and not vice versa, as I tap into that awareness of suffering.

Plans

Amazingly, the universe then reminds me that there are bigger plans still in the works, and not to confuse the current circumstances for the final answer. Ever since first hearing it, I've always felt resonance with this quote from an unknown source, "Everything is ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end." This is the message I consistently receive from the power of the great unknown, to not mistake the present for eternity. This was what I clung to during my nearly two decades of PTSD, the belief that in some way, although I absolutely could't see how, it could be possible for something to shift, and for the anguish that seemed to have taken up residence in my life to transform into something unexpected and better than what I might have chosen for myself were I only brainstorming on my own.

I have faith, not in a particular answer, but that answers are possible. I believe that there are many aspects to the divine, and I'm comfortable admitting that I'm probably only slightly aware of about 1% of all that could possibly entail, and that's probably a super generous estimate. For me, acknowledging how much I don't know and can't fathom is relieving. I find peace in seeing myself within a creation that is far broader than my mind can comprehend. Something about the vastness of space certainly contributes to this awareness, and reminds me that for however much I think I know, there's infinitely more.

My prayers don't center around wanting to know all the answers, but they do often revolve around wanting to know what I am supposed to do to contribute to whatever this bigger picture is that still seems to be in the process of being painted. When I ask genuinely for guidance, I have never felt steered in the wrong direction. There's something inside of me that connects me to a higher truth and though I don't always understand the nuances of that truth, I always believe that it has all of our best interests in mind.

#MeToo

#ThePowerOfPrayer