30. I Believe In You

The Lantern

Dec 13, 2019

4 min read

Updated: Oct 18, 2023

**Please note: In this post, I do not write about specific traumas. I never write any explicit details.**

Words Of Affirmation

I believe that you can regain your strength.

I believe that you can heal from the past that has hurt you.

I believe that you are capable of amazing things.

I believe in your ability to shed the past.

I believe in your ability to heal from trauma.

I believe in your ability to create a new future.

I’m proud of you. I’ve never met you. I don’t know you. I know enough to recognize that if you are reading this, you are either a survivor or love a survivor. So, yes, I’m proud of you. I’m proud of you for surviving or standing with someone who has survived.

Enneagram Personality Types

If you haven't heard of The Enneagram, it's basically a way of looking at personalities on a spectrum. Picture a circle, and along that circle, there are 9 points, each representing a distinct personality type. Because they all border each other, there is often some crossover between types situated next to each other along the circle, so a person with a predominant personality type may also have attributes of a neighboring type as well. There are also several additional ways the types connect to each other, but that involves more details than are currently necessary. For more information, or to determine which type you think you are, I encourage you to do some reading about The Enneagram. Here's a very brief description of each type:

1. The Perfectionist: Focused on precision, wanting to make everything perfect, including the self, to show goodness, and to earn validation for existing.

2. The Helper: Focused on supporting others, wanting to help everyone but themselves, to show love for others, and to earn love in return.

3. The Achiever: Focused on success, wanting to accomplish impressive feats and receive praise, to show worth, and to earn a stamp of approval from others.

4. The Romantic: Focused on creativity, wanting to express the self and direct their own course, to show uniqueness, and to earn the admiration of others.

5. The Observer: Focused on competency, wanting to become an expert and remain removed from emotions, to show intelligence, and to earn regard from others.

6. The Loyalist: Focused on security, wanting to provide safety and protection, to show capability, and to earn esteem from others.

7. The Adventurer: Focused on enjoyment, wanting to savor pleasure and separate from pain, to show vibrance, and to earn status as happy.

8. The Asserter: Focused on strength, wanting to direct their own course and not be controlled by anyone, to show power, and to earn respect from others.

9. The Peacemaker: Focused on connection, wanting to keep everyone happy and avoid painful situations, to show peacefulness, and to earn trust from others.

Messages To Survivors, Based On Your Enneagram Number

Basically, we develop personalities, in part, related to certain messages we receive about ourselves in childhood, and also what we fail to hear about ourselves. For each personality type, there are missed messages we needed to hear, and even hearing them now as adults can feel both soothing and also hard to believe if we feel the wounds already deeply ingrained within us. This is my attempt to offer encouraging messages to survivors of all enneagram personalities, specifically related to healing from sexual trauma.

1. Dear Perfectionist,

There is nothing wrong with you. You are still the gloriously good creation that you have always been. No one has the right to convince you that you are in any way defective.

2. Dear Helper,

You do not deserve poor treatment. You are still the innately lovable person that you have always been. No one has the right to convince you that you are in any way unlovable.

3. Dear Achiever,

You didn't do anything wrong. You are still the inherently valuable person that you have always been. No one has the right to convince you that you are in any way worthless.

4. Dear Individualist,

What happened to you matters because you matter. You are still the uniquely unforgettable person that you have always been. No one has the right to convince you that you are in any way insignificant.

5. Dear Observer,

You are able to heal from this. You are still the tremendously capable person that you have always been. No one has the right to convince you that you are in any way incompetent.

6. Dear Loyalist,

There are people who can help. You are still the abundantly resourced person that you have always been. No one has the right to limit your support.

7. Dear Adventurer,

This pain will not last forever. You are still the vibrantly bright person that you have always been. No one has the right to restrict your happiness.

8. Dear Asserter,

No one should ever try to control you. You are still the wildly resilient person that you have always been. No one has the right to harm you.

9. Dear Peacemaker,

Nothing can prevent you from the tranquility you deserve. You are still the completely connected person that you have always been. No one was the right to cause separation in your life.

My Hope For You

It is my hope that each of you who has become a survivor of sexual trauma, through no fault of your own, will find the type of healing you truly deserve. This includes being released from fear, and rekindling your true essence. I hope you are able to see yourselves as powerful and amazing people with tremendous worth. I hope you are able to fully bloom, not for the sake of making anyone else happy, but because you deserve to fully live into your potential for a wonderful life and to create positive ripples into the world.

#MeToo

#IBelieveInYou